Sitemap

Member-only story

The Power of the Pause: A Simple Strategy for Resolving Conflict

How to De-escalate Tension, Lead Difficult Conversations, and Build Stronger Teams

4 min readJun 9, 2026

--

I was momentarily speechless.

Standing in front of a whiteboard in a conference room at a factory in Seoul, I looked through a haze of cigarette smoke at the 17 chain-smoking men seated around the table. I had just finished presenting options to resolve a costly mistake their factory had made on our order of 50,000 dozen denim jeans.

Press enter or click to view image in full size
An image of a folded Brittania jean
50,000 dozen jeans lay in the balance in our conflict.

The first response from the head of the factory group was unexpected:

“How old are you, and are you married?”

My brief pause gave me time to think before responding. That pause may have prevented the situation from escalating.

Our German subsidiary desperately needed those jeans. They represented most of the inventory planned for September. The factory’s error had put both businesses in a difficult position. Emotions were running high, and both sides needed a solution.

Instead of reacting defensively, I asked myself a different question:

How can I align our interests and create a workable plan to move forward?

--

--

Marilyn Tam
Marilyn Tam

Written by Marilyn Tam

Marilyn Tam, global speaker, best selling author (The Happiness Choice), business leader and humanitarian. Formerly the CEO of Aveda, President Reebok, VP Nike